Gamestop and the Rooster Hats

Gamestop sucks.  We all know that, we all think that, and some of us choose to boycott the game giant because our passionate hate for them is so strong.  Me?  I dislike them greatly, enough so that I would rather not shop with them, but generally do anyway simply for convenience.  Plus, lets face it, they give away some pretty awesome stuff with video game releases if you pre-order the game through them.  An example of this awesome stuff is the "Rooster Hat" that customers could get for pre-ordering the video game "Scribblenauts."  In case you had not heard, Scribblenauts is going to be the greatest game of all time.  (^_-)  That being said, I was going to reserve it no matter what, but when I saw that they were giving out a replica of the main characters hat WITH THE GAME if you reserved it, man did I get excited.  Awesome game, awesome collectible, what more could a guy want?!  So as Scribblenauts drew closer and closer to its launch date, I became more and more excited for the game that would be AWESOME and my hat.  Oh how I longed for that beautiful hat.  Jumping forward to today.  Today, September 15th, Scribblenauts was released!  I awoke from my slumber as if it were Christmas!  I leapt out of bed with much glee!  After getting ready for the day, I hopped down the stairs and out the door with joy in each step!  I went to all my classes, endured the boring lectures, with a massive grin on my face!  I didn't mind the lectures, for I was going to be playing Scribblenauts with my lovely Rooster Hat in just mere hours!  My final class let out, and I sprung out of my chair like a kangaroo!  Hopping all the way to my car, I bobbed my head back and forth with happiness!  I jumped right into my car and began the five minute drive to Gamestop!  Just a few more minutes and OH WHAT JOY I WOULD HAVE!!!  Arriving at the mall, my stomach got tense as the excitement grew!  No longer could I walk!  I RAN into the store faster than humanly possible!  As I slid into the gamestop, I cried out with all my heart, "I am HEEEEEERE FOR SCRIBBLENAUTS AND MY WONDERFUL HAT!!!!!!!"  The employee greeted me with a smile, understanding the importance of today.  He joyfully handed me my game and bid me good day. I chuckled and said, "Why thank you good sir, but I believe you forgot my Rooster Hat!"  An understandable mistake, I did not mind!  Nothing could break my euphoria!  

"UP YOURS DIRT BAG!" Was the reply of the Gamestop employee.  

"B..but sir..  M..my rooster hat?" I stammered.

"I SAID UP YOURS!  NOW GET OUT!" He repeated with anger.

"B...b...but...  Sir...  I was promised...  Promised a hat...  Promised sir..." I said as tears began to well up in my eyes.

"How many more times must I tell you?  Get the heck out of my store you naive fool!!!!" 

This man was clearly serious.  He intended on ruining my perfect day.  I slowly walked out of the store, defeated.  With my hat-less head bowed low, I tried to remember that I at least had the greatest game ever, hat or no hat...  This did little to comfort me on my tear filled ride home.  Christmas was ruined...

BUT WAIT!  What if another gamestop had some hats they were willing to give me?!?!  I called the store I had just visited and pretend to be another gleeful kid, looking forward to picking up his copy of the game.  When the store owner said they had no hats, I would ask for another stores phone number.  He answered the phone,

"Gamestop, where we crush childrens dreams, how can I help you?"

"Yes, I was wondering if I could come pick up my copy of Scribblenauts today?" I said with false happiness in my voice.

"Yeah sure, come on in." Satans helper replied.

"Great, I cant wait!  You guys got those totally awesome hats too, right?!" I asked, already knowing the dreadful answer.

"Yeah sure, we got one left, did you reserve the game early?" He said.

I could not believe my ears!  The employee lied to me!  He said they had none, and now that he thought I was someone else, he said they had ONE!  I told him the truth and said,

"I reserved the game in August!"

The employee said that I had reserved it early enough, and that I could get my hat!  I rushed back to the store, infuriated!  Boy would they be surprised when I walked in again!  

I made my grand re-entrance and looked the criminal in the eye.  He seemed to be expecting me as he immediately said 

"We must see your receipt as proof if you are to obtain our final Rooster Hat!!!  MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!!" 

I told the man with much confidence that I would return a third time, receipt in hand, and than he would be forced to hand over my beloved hat!!!!  I sped home as fast as I could, angry, and saddened.  I had not admitted it to the jerk, but I had thrown my receipt away.  Still, I would not give up!  I would search through all the trash in the world for that hat!!!  I arrived home and began shuffling through all the trash I could find!  The sheer nastyness of this situation was unbearable.  I dug through feces, urine, dead kittens, and more!  But alas, I found the filthy receipt!  I had won!  I rushed back to the store, handed the man the gross receipt and demanded my hat!  He obliged, with a look of defeat on his face.  As I walked out of the store, Rooster Hat upon my head, I grinned, turned back slightly, shadows across my face and whispered, "There is poop on that receipt..." And walked out of sight, leaving the employee to mull over the fact that he just touched a poo covered piece of paper.  

Today, joy and happiness has triumphed and evil has lost!  I received the Rooster Hat that was PROMISED to me after an arduous battle.  Though I still think I should have gotten it from the start.

Now, granted, a lot of that epic tale of sadness and victory written above is a little... exaggerated.  However, the basic plot remains the same.  I did go to gamestop, they did tell me there were no Rooster Hats, and they did NOTHING to compensate for my lack of said hat!  They basically told me to shove off and enjoy my game, and the employee did get upset with me when I got aggressive about wanting my hat.  I DID return to the store three different time for the reasons listed above.  Today Gamestop treated me not as a customer, but as a piece of trash, and I shall never shop with them again.  However, I can say with much much much much MUCH joy that I did get my game, and it is just as amazing as we had hoped, and that I DID get my hat, and it is just as awesome as I had hoped.  Check out my victory pictures below!